Martyr
by PinkLemonade
Summary: Old Christmas oneshot. Feelings between Hazel and Gato grow stronger, as his desires for Sanzo finally linger to an end. Rated M for some SHORT limey yaoi.


I wrote this for X-mas. The smut is very, very limey; TONED DOWN FOR THE HOLIDAYS. So I figured it would be okay to post. Walla walla walla. This is sort of my Hazel-realizes-Gato-loves-him-and-will-n ever-have-Sanzo-so-gets-over-it-and-drop s-him-and-gets-with-Gato fic. Well, not like I'm saying this is me retiring from writing Sanzo x Hazel. XD I wasn't even going to HAVE Sanzo in this. But, I know one of my friends would have wanted a little 3H action, so I included the bit with him. ;)

Other than that, I have no fucking clue what this fic is rambling on about, really. XD;; I was aiming to get the message "Gato sacrificed himself for Hazel" across, so I hope it worked. XD;

Enjoy?

Feedback is wonderful. C&C is fine. Flames? Send those to CrowTChickATaolDOTcome, prease.

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**Title**: Martyr

**Rated**: M

**Warnings**: Limey sex! Gato x Hazel. One kiss between Sanzo and Hazel ala 3H.

**Note**: Gato, Hazel, Sanzo, etc., are not mine. They belonged to Kazuya Minekura, etc. Nor is the song used at the end of this shortfic.

---

"It's Christmas. Do you know what Christmas is?"

A snowflake fell from the sky, much slower than all the others pouring down.

It landed in his hand.

"No."

"I suppose you wouldn't. You believe in something different, don't you? Well... Christmas is very special."

"From what little I've heard of it... It's the birth of someone very important in most religions, types you practice."

He smirked.

"It is. Today is the birth of the savior, the Messiah Jesus Christ. There's so much about him to say, but... the most noteworthy being his sacrifice. You know, he sacrificed his own life for our sins."

"Hn."

The crunching of feet in the six inch deep snow was silenced. Boots stopped in their pace.

He looked back, and up.

"If I were going to die--I think I'd like to die like that. Still... I'm afraid of dying like that. Do you think it's because I'm a selfish human?"

It was quiet.

"No. Anyone would be scared of dying like that."

"I bet he was, too. What would it be like, I wonder..."

"Hmm?"

"To end your life as a sacrifice, as a martyr. Do you know what that might feel like?"

"No..."

A cold wind blew.

---

"Ha... haaa... ha..."

Hazel's milky white fingers dug into the bed sheets. He dropped his head, panting heavily. His silvery bangs fell over his moist face, sweat running from his forehead, down his cheeks, dropping off the end of his chin or continuing down a long winding path along his neck.

The large hands holding him were tender, despite their size, despite how calloused they were. They held his hips carefully, as if they were fragile, easy to break like glass.

Another thrust in.

Hazel grit his teeth and grunted in his throat. His head tilted back, as a mouth caught the pale skin between neck and shoulder, pressing down kisses, releasing warm air. "Haaa..." Hazel's fingers retracted like cat claws in the silky blue blanket. One of his hands lifted, the back of it to his mouth as he heaved against it. His eyebrows knitted, a look of both shame, embarrassment, yet pleasure and pain on his rosy red face.

Another thrust, in and out, in and out...

"Nngh!" Hazel's eyes shut so tightly he saw stars as they stung.

The movement of the body on and inside of him ceased. "Are you all right?" asked a deep, monotone voice from behind him.

Hazel took a moment to twitch and wipe the swear from his eyes. "I'm fine," he sniffed. He grinned weakly; he looked just like his normal self. "It's just... well, it's almost to that point. Haha, don't make me say it. I always feel embarrassed when I do..." he chuckled.

"Ah." The other understood. He kissed the back of Hazel's head, taking in the scent of sweetness and life. The heat in the room, the energy in the room was enough to belong to two living souls.

Thus, he continued.

Hazel shut his eyes again, rocking and swaying with the motions. He could feel a twisting sensation swelling in the bottom of his belly. He opened one eye slightly, the silver glistening with a layer of tears he would not shed.

There was a window facing him. White ice licked at the corners of the glass, moving inward slowly. The curtains were pulled loosely over it, but he could see a shred of the outside world. He watched as snowflakes fell; the darkness was even more dark, night was even more still.

Then, he saw a bright light.

---

"Haraheta!"

"SHUT UP!"

Sanzo angrily stomped away from his compatriots, who were in the middle of a snow fight that suddenly broke out. He walked out into an empty field, seeing nothing but endless miles of snow. He was glad he had exchanged his sandals for boots.

The priest removed a cigarette then, lit it and placed it in his mouth. Clouds of air and smoke drifted from his lips, blending into the silvery blue of the cloudy skies. He reached out a hand, catching a couple snowflakes that melted on his warm skin.

Then, he heard the crunching of snow behind him. As if by instinct, he knew who it was, and did not bother to turn around, ask for a name or draw his gun. Rather, he merely stood there and smoked, looking grumpy yet content.

"Sanzo-han."

"Hn?"

Hazel stopped at Sanzo's side. Sanzo didn't seem to mind. Hazel admired the snow before him along with Sanzo. Although, Sanzo wasn't admiring it, really. "It's beautiful," Hazel breathed, removing his hat and placing it to his chest. "I never thought going through so much sand and desert, that it would snow so plentifully," he chuckled. He, too, reached out a hand to touch snow. But it was camouflaged in his white glove.

"This isn't a place for someone like you then."

Hazel laughed softly. "You're right. China, India... I miss my homelands, actually."

"I'd say 'go back' but since when do you ever listen to anyone?"

"How cruel, Sanzo-han."

"Hn."

Hazel took in a deep breath of air. It prickled his lungs. "Sanzo-han..." he said a minute after pure silence. Sanzo continued to act like no one had broken that silence. "... I know, deep inside, you're just as hurt as I am. Deep inside, I know you hate the youkai as much as I hate the youkai..."

"I never claimed to like _anyone_," Sanzo muttered.

"That's true," Hazel sighed, but smiled. His eyes shifted to the skies above. "... Regardless. I've decided... I'm not turning back. I've gone too far, I think, to just walk away. Besides..."

Hazel glanced back over his shoulder. Gato stood beneath the porch of a nearby shop, watching him quietly with no expression on his face.

"... Someone has sacrificed themselves for me. In return, I'd like to make their death worthwhile."

"Your mind's narrow," Sanzo said, "but it doesn't matter. Do what you want. Just don't get in my way."

Sanzo's cigarette fell from his mouth.

The bud hissed when it clashed with cold ice, releasing a puff of smoke.

Gato made no sort of reaction to what just happened.

Sanzo's eyes did not widen, yet they remained open, even as Hazel had him lip locked. Hazel kept his lips against the monk's, slowly opening his eyes to meet the amethyst of the others.

Hazel's mouth pulled back a moment later.

"You don't need to worry about that. There's no more chasing. I've got to focus on the people who I know I can no longer have..."

Then, like that, Hazel was gone. Sanzo remained still. He turned his head, seeing the white flicker of angel wings disappear as they turned down an alley.

He smirked.

He wondered. Did Hazel know the cross he bore was used as a weapon? He wondered. Did Hazel know who sacrificed themselves for him?

In Hazel's mind, he'd remember his personal Jesus who laid out his life for him being an Earthly angel who had rescued him as an infant.

He had asked Gato years ago if he'd ever remotely know what sacrificing yourself for someone else felt like.

Although the answer was contrary from the truth, Gato knew more than anyone else.

---

_"Angel come on down from heaven yesterday _

_Stayed with me just long enough to rescue me _

_And she told me a story yesterday _

_About the love between the moon _

_And the deep blue sea _

_Then she spread her wings high above me _

_And she said she gonna come back tomorrow_

_And I said Fly on by, sweet angel _

_Fly on through the sky _

_Fly on, my sweet angel _

_Tomorrow I will be right by your side."_

_-_**Angel** cover by**Fiona Apple**

**OWARI.**


End file.
